Way back when I first entered the hospitality industry, I started off as a waiter in a buffet-style restaurant. I attended to guests’ needs while they enjoyed their meal, refilling drinks and removing unused items from the table. It wasn’t too glamorous but I earned a wage. It also laid the foundation for what was to come: a career spanning multiple types of food service, Las Vegas, management and teaching. Without that first job, who knows what I would be doing now. I did have an interest in foreign service and international diplomacy I initially went to school for and, to be honest, there is a lot of turmoil in that arena right now.
Going back to that first job, a specific incident still stands out to me because of its irony at the time and what it taught me about implicit bias. There was a couple, a husband and wife that was a different race than I. They were just starting their meal; I had a few interactions with them, with nothing really standing out as positive or negative. I cannot recall all of the dialogue leading up to the husband’s question and my response that caused trouble, but I remember that the mood seemed to be lighthearted and friendly. Otherwise, I would not have responded as I did [lesson 1 for young me: learn to read the guests better]. The question was: “Why is our meal taking so long? Are they holding it back there?”
I heard the undertone of intent in the question. The husband was asking me if we were purposely holding his meal, thereby not serving him. In my mind, this question was ridiculous and I truly thought he was being sarcastic, setting the stage for playful banter with the guest. I had already served and talked with the couple without any prejudice for or against them in comparison to how I interacted with other guests. Never realizing the jeopardy, I responded with: “Yeah, they looked at you and decided they would hold your meal back there.” That wasn't a true statement, but it is what I said in a poor attempt to joke around.
That was my “read” on the table’s occupants, based on how the previous conversation progressed, which was accompanied by smiles and light laughter [see lesson 1 above]. Looking back from this stage of my life and even the day after, I see how obvious my error in judgement was. However, at that point in my life, racism was not something I was exposed to or perpetuated [that I knew of]. I know that is an overused statement but I grew up as an Army brat in Europe so my experience was always being classified as American first. As a dependent of a military service member, being a military brat was typically a unifying attribute when I lived overseas. I interacted and socialized with people from all races, ethnicities, and cultures. Racism and discrimination wasn’t a part of my life experience; it hadn’t affected my decisions or how I was affected by others’ decisions [again, that I knew of]. This isn't to say I was oblivious to racism, just that it was not a driving force in my decisions.
All of that aside, I can confidently say that I would have said the exact same thing to any person of any demographic, if the interactions up to that point had proceeded in the same manner.
What I learned, despite my own naivety, was that race was a factor. Though I did not say anything about race or ethnicity, the husband perceived I was saying we were not serving him because of his race and became enraged. After manager mediation, I was no longer allowed to interact with those guests and instructed to stay out of that area as much as possible [I was still working a station and switching to another job would have inconvenienced other guests.]
Aside from my first lesson in how to treat guests of any race and to apply a filter in what I say, I was educated about racism and discrimination as well. With the current state of affairs in society, this lesson in implicit bias is very relevant today.
Understanding Implicit Bias
Implicit bias is the attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions and decisions in an unconscious manner. Reflecting on my time within the hospitality industry and providing guest service, I can see that implicit bias was well represented throughout my experience in hospitality. Time after time, I have observed behaviors, assumptions and judgements that were based on how someone was perceived without any concrete evidence for those perceptions.
In regard to the experience I described, I was obviously impudent and naïve, but my intent was not to be racist. I did not understand how people experienced racism and what it meant to that couple. I assumed the tone of their response would not change from our earlier interactions and was not concerned about the possible effects of my comment.
Though my comment was not intended to be discriminatory, I still made an assumption about the couple by attributing characteristics to them that were not evidence-based. The husband also made an assumption that I would be discriminatory and responded to the racism that he heard. Following the misinterpreted toned of the original question, his angry response could possibly be attributed to confirmation bias, the subconscious tendency to seek and interpret information and other evidence in ways that affirm our existing beliefs. If he expected me to be discriminatory, my possible responses would be interpreted through that lens. Of course, my response didn't make it too hard.
This same process permeates all social interactions we have. We are creatures of learning and we base our behavior in future experiences on our experiences in the past. We build on what we know.
The phenomenon of implicit bias is a natural occurrence. When restaurant servers look at their just-seated table of guests, they make assumptions about how their experience with those guests will unfold and typically draft a plan of approach based on those assumptions.
Unfortunately, this behavior is steeped in stereotypes. It’s not limited to the experiences of one server planning their strategy, but incorporates tales and stories from peers as well.
Because of this early experience in my career, I have worked to help others to not be affected by biases. We, in the hospitality industry and as human beings, have to accept that an experience with a newly met person is a new experience. We are taught that everybody is an individual because of the vast amount of minute variations in life experiences that “create” the identity of the person. We generally accept that basic life lesson in individuality, but then we take on and accept stereotypes, lumping everybody together in the same identity.
Lesson Learned
In the hospitality industry, that guest who just sat down at a table is a new guest. The hotel guest checking in is a new guest. The future bride is a new client. The experience about to develop is a new experience. It may be shaped by the guests' expectations, but as hospitality employees, we are also in control and can shape the customer’s experience as well. We can allow our subconscious beliefs and ideas to affect our behavior and choices, or we can focus on assuring their experience is positive, regardless of what we believe [assume].
My philosophy of customer service was rooted in that statement. I aim to provide a quality experience. Regardless of why a guest chose my restaurant for dining, they chose my restaurant. It was my job to justify that decision and maybe make the decision a little easier next time. If the guest chose not to tip me, then I viewed the experience as an investment. The return on investment was that the guest would tell people of the restaurant and of me. I learned to not judge my performance solely by one interaction but also through the cumulative effect of my interactions. Realizing how I impacted others and asserting control over my role in the dynamic was a key turning point in building my success.
We will be stereotyped based on any identifiable characteristics, the clothes we wear, wherever we are located, the objects around us, the color of our skin, or whatever else people have experienced and formed an opinion about before meeting us. We do not need to change who we are. We only need to recognize how we are viewed, what we are communicating, and decide how we want to influence that. Within hospitality, we have to respect why people may feel the way they do and not feed into the negative perceptions they may hold. Though I was not intentionally racist to that couple in my story, I did not respect or understand their experience before they met me.